2002-11-21
Money, Shmoney

Last night was yet again, another transformation evening � What is one to do with all this growth?

I had an inspirational evening with John and his grandfather Caleb � man, what incredible men those two are� I had been originally planning on going to my Wednesday evening Yoga class with Rached when I realized John was having such a super crummy day � I skipped Yoga to be with him. We went to go hear Jacob�s weekly lecture, (www.jacobglass.com) inspiring it was�

The title of Jacob�s talk last night was �Marinated in Love� � (I love that title). Of course, all I could think was � �That�s me! That�s me!� � I�m so in love, it must make others around me nauseas. His lecture was packed with lessons that resonate with all. He speaks to the Course of Miracles, which is a book of daily lessons that I am interested in doing. The most powerful thing he spoke about last night was the definition of true love � that connected with me the most. He spoke about the connection between to people and defined it in such a way I hadn�t expressed myself before, although it is exactly how I feel about John. He is my one and only, and the more our love grows, the closer I feel to God and the Universe.

After Jacob, we went to dinner and while it was a lovely dinner, I had yet another panic attack about money � how am I ever going to get ahead of myself? Despite my initial freak out � John was able to diffuse me in a matter of minutes. His ability to calm my anxious tendencies is such a gift � yet another miracle in our world of growth and transformation.

My stress comes from wanting to do more for the planet � and knowing that doing more to make a difference in people�s lives means quitting this job and making less money. My student loans and rent and car payment and credit card and prescriptions and contacts and gas and � how can I ever afford to let go of this job?? How can I ever do more to serve the planet when I am so in over my head in useless financial burdens? And why is it that most careers that are following the path the God are the most non-lucrative? Such a bizarre conflict in the �system� � whoever created that strategy, had it all backwards.

Now, of course, that is not to say that abundance is all things lucrative, it�s not � but I do seek some sort of financial security to at least know that I can pay my bills; and more importantly, if something serious happens to my love - we will have insurance or $$ to cover it. Funny, I know a lot of people stressing over money these days� My best friend is a City Attorney and she�s getting a second job for the holidays!! That�s messed up too.

So, point being that all that stress last night was packaged up in a matter of 20 minutes. John, my SUPERHERO, lover and best friend just snapped me right back to reality and we were off necking in no time. (Speaking of necking, man, we have some love spell!!) I feel like every day we grow stronger and closer to God. Every day I love him more than I did the day before � and I cant imagine that it is possible to do so. He keeps me true, to myself and to my spiritual path, and for this I am forever thankful.

Namaste,

Ziya

previous | next
all past entries

email