2002-11-07
be the question

Sometimes the best thing to do is to just close your eyes and go inside, the answers are within us. It�s amazing how simple this is to do and yet we can find reason after reason not to.

Lately Ive been going through this amazing transition in life; an evolution of character, preparing me for my next phase of life. I haven�t been able to pin point it precisely and therefore have been experiencing moments of chaotic stress and misunderstanding. I have been feeling overwhelmed with so little time to just sit back, close my eyes and b.r.e.a.t.h.e. I have found my self on the go-go-go schedule� yet resisting it and therefore creating unease.

Last night I had my meeting with this woman that I see occasionally. She is my mentor and spiritual counselor � my modern day therapist who assists highly functioning individuals with their spiritual pursuit. We connected during my ten-day yoga intensive/teacher training about a year ago and there was something so magnificent about this woman, and our ability to relate to one another, despite our 25 year age difference.

She is the most radiant woman I have ever known � living in her mid-fifties, who has the most beautiful take on our divine connection with the Universe. In me she sees herself, many years younger, and has taken it upon herself, through my efforts in therapy, to be a life mentor for me. I am honored to share my life and unique transitions and processing, while learning from her feminine wisdom as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and counselor. Her spiritual grounding is an awakening for me, a guiding light I wish to follow.

What I am growing to learn through my processing is that I function successfully in the present, and yet I seem to spend a great deal of time focusing on the future. Having recently discovered true love, I have been guilty of feeling an overwhelming need to root my feet in the earth and answer life�s many questions and unknowns. The uncertainty of life has pushed me to put some unnecessary pressure on my partner to find his life purpose faster than his natural process, to provide answers for our future and me. My revelation last night was that the unknowns are beautiful; and that it is okay to be in the question.

Together, sit in the question.

Be there, and Be the question.

And while we are there, hold each other - in the question.

Draw strength.

And allow our branches to intertwine, to grow

Vine-like and strong

Creating answers together in the world unknown.

What I haven�t realized until now is that our uncertainties with our future are the greatest gift from the Universe. Everyday women and men bind together for the wrong reasons � seeking stability in a partner to mask their own development. This would be terribly un-suiting for me. The fact that my love and I are evolving together, creating answers as life partners, and evolving our beings as one is the most amazing gift from God. We have the gift of discovering ourselves together; learning what it means to be evolving into this new, unfounded space.

What does it mean to be a man in his 30�s, evolving his boyhood dreams to suit his life as a man, while maintaining true to his passionate endeavors? What does it mean to be a woman approaching her 30�s, evolving into a nurturer, living in a changing body, while preparing for her own dreams and passions? What does it mean when these two people fall in love and choose to intertwine their lives into one; preparing for their future and living in the journey as a single unit?

It means uncertainty.

Insecurity.

Instability.

It also means truth.

Passion.

Spirit.

Surrender.

I have found the most difficult thing to find in life - in the truest form of love I�ve ever known. I am grateful for the opportunity to build a lasting foundation together, as one, in spirit and in love. He is the one, and I am forever grateful for my certainty of this.

Namaste,

Ziya

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