2003-08-23
take him with you in your heart

We are just hours and days away from the playa� Im busy sewing on fur and youre burning away hymns for the gracious crowd. With pink fishnets on my skin and goggles on my head all I can do is think about my grateful heart.

I don�t want to say too much, but I do want to say thank you.

For the love, for the time.

I meant every word I said tonight.

I know that you and I are on different paths right now. And I know that even if the universe brings us back together, it will do so in it�s own time, and it�s not up to me or you - when, how, or if ever.

I also know that I love you to the core, and as we return home to the playa, I cant stop the fact that I sometimes crave the smell of your skin the same way I crave your heart and your mind. You�ve been the best friend I could ever dream of having, even if it was only a matter of time.

When we hit the playa it�s all about the magic.

Let�s be free.

If it�s right, I want to dance on the playa with you singing your beauty. And if it�s hot, I want to strip free of all inhibitions and see a side of you Ive been wanting to see for a long time now. And baby if it�s not, then I want to love every minute doing whatever else it is that Im doing in that moment, and I want you to love the same.

We�re okay.

We�re on the same page.

Ive been grieving the missing presence of you in my life, but that doesn�t mean I want to go back to the way things were.

I want to love each other in the most magical gracious way we know how to be - in the moment.

You�re my soulmate, and my best friend.

You�ve been my lover, and I hope you will be again.

It�s an unfinished symphony with you. Im ready to let go of the relationship and if it�s right, share some raw sexy moments together � adventures that we never had while we were holding on to other possibilities. And then, yes, maybe after burning man, we consider taking a break to give each other space to step forward into the unknown of what next.

Let�s truly sit in the question.

Feel the love that we have had, and be fearless knowing there are so many beautiful unknown possibilities that lie ahead for each of us.

I cherish you John Styn.

Youre a man like no other.

And Im going to take you with me in my heart.

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